Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

Well, for those of you completely out of touch with, say, everything, it's 2008. And already things have managed to be buggered up to a point where I'm almost tempted to say, "Well, the year can only go up from here." But that's not entirely true, and really just invites disaster--not unlike your drunken buddies telling you to stuck a live octopus down your pants.

The good of it is that this doesn't involve customers. The about-as-good-as-that-Aeon
-Flux-movie is that it involves our Head Office changing a few key policies. Not that I can discuss any of these policies here, just to be on the safe side. But it is safe to say that at a point where employee morale might be reaching a tragic low, the corporate peaknuckles have handed us a figurative, live hand-grenade and are telling us that it's supposed to be missing the cotterpin.

I see revolt on the horizon, and I am saddened by the fact that this is neither surprising nor something I am entirely against. Provided I haven't had the chance to bail out prior to the exodus, yes it will be problematic with the inevitable staff turnover, but I do see why everyone would be ready to walk out. Hell, with everything Head Office has been pulling, it almost frightened me when, upon learning of the newly-installed policies, I was filled not with anger, or even rage, but plain and simple contempt.

The outrage I might have once possessed is long gone; this is something I didn't think they'd have the sheer audacity to pull off, but alas, they've almost gleefully proven me wrong. Now I know I cannot go into greater details for corporate confidentiality reasons, so here's a helpful comparison to the policy in question: I can only liken it to being beset upon by a horde of undead squirrels and having them sodomize you with the business end of a rusty bread knife. Sure, it makes for interesting conversational topics when you're together with friends, but that doesn't mean you want to have the scars that go along with the anecdotes.

Today may very well be a day that changes everything.

Let's hope that when the proverbial grenade goes off, I'm not the one holding it.

Labels: corporate lurv

posted by Phillip at 9:29 PM

 


Well, it's the first day of a brave new year, which is just as well since the last couple of days in 2007 were rather disappointing. Not to belittle or bother many of you out there tired of the anti-shoppers rant...but why must so many people be that desperate to shop on December 31? Our store ended up doing just as much sales as during its busiest pre-Commercialmas heydays, and everyone just absolutely had to have everything and ask every possible annoying question. (I swear, they all met up together earlier in the day and assigned each group/person a different silly-assed question, since no 2 stupid questions were asked by the same person.)

I distinctly recall 2006 going gently into the night,with shoppers more than content to plague the grocery stores instead of us.

But I rant.

I'm already looking forward to 2008 with the unbridled enthusiasm of someone who hasn't been beaten down by months January through March. Sure, I might end up horribly botching that diet I've been meaning to get back on. Yes, the garage may not entirely get cleaned out in the strictest sense of the words. And certainly, killing Michael Flatley in order to secure my status as the rightful and true Lord of the Dance may have to get put on the backburner (again).

However, my one great endeavour is to stop griping so much about work and how much customers irritate me.

Oh...right.

Wow. Talk about awkwardly destroying a resolution before you even made the resolution. But in my defence, the customers started it.


...but in all seriousness (but not Sirius-ness, since I don't have satellite radio), 2007 had its high and low points, like all the years before it. As my mind's still rather foggy from the Xmas season, it's probably better to wait on retrospection. One can't dwell on the past, but it's hard to know where you're going or why you're headed in that direction if you don't look back & see where you've already been. Philosophical, yes? (I think I paraphrased it off a fortune cookie I got this past summer.)

Mind you, there are a number of realistic goals to be set and (ideally) achieved before 2008 is out. A new vocation, the Project's completion and becoming the one true Lord of the Dance are my top three. Those, and getting people to acknowledge the sexiness that is my ass.

What?

You'd actually think I would start off the year that seriously?



Today's Lesson: the cake is a lie.

Labels: lies my OS toldme about cake, new year resolutions

posted by Phillip at 4:26 PM